Scandal Recap: Everyone Is Trying to Spin the News About Their Sidepiece

This was a bloody episode.

Last night’s episode taught us two very important lessons. First, make sure you choose who you commit adultery with wisely. And don’t mess with a former secret government agent who’s got a couple billion dollars in the bank.

That former secret agent is Huck and the $2 billion-plus he has came from his time in B-613, money that was siphoned as part of his duty to the organization.

When we left off last week, Liv was on a plane with head kidnapper Ian headed to who-knows-where, preparing to be auctioned off to the highest bidder; someone presumably with sights set on blackmailing Fitz by holding her hostage. But despite his stellar hacking abilities, Huck can’t find the auction on the “dark net.” They need their own terrorist in the know to get in on the action.

Hmm… who’s a terrorist that they can tap for some help. Why, Mama Pope!

So Huck and Jake take a trip to the underground prison where she’s being held with AG David Rosen in tow. In exchange for access to a television, she’s going to hook them up with a drug dealer who can access the auction. Oh, but there’s one more catch: Huck has to kill three guys to ensure this dealer’s participation.

At this point, we should note that there was a violence warning for this episode. We then get another warning from Shonda Rhimes herself.   

And boy did we need it. He doesn’t just kill these guys. He’s covered the entire apartment in blood. Jake, who’s accompanied Huck on this mission, comes into the apartment where the three targets were because Huck’s taking so long and after the initial shock, he ends up beheading one of the guys for proof that the deed is done.

Let’s take a breather from that madness and go to another kind of madness.

VP Andrew is now facing off with Cyrus who is demanding his resignation. The idea is Andrew can resign and walk away or the word gets out that he staged the terrorist attack that started the war with West Angola and go to jail. But the Veep isn’t going down without a fight.

“You know, going to war for your sidepiece makes you a criminal,” VP Nichols says, throwing Fitz’s declaration of war on Olivia’s behalf in Cyrus’ face. Hmm. This is true. But Cyrus is resourceful and Fitz is determined to have proof of the VP’s shenanigans.

So Cyrus heads over to Lizzy Bear’s office just as she seems to be packing up to high tail it out of town. Cyrus has her on “a dozen watch lists” and she’s not going anywhere. “You will be my bitch until the end of time,” he says. Boy, Lizzy’s fortunes have really turned these past couple of weeks.

Seeing that he’s about to go down, Andrew pays a visit to his sidepiece, First Lady Mellie. He threatens to go public with their affair if the President presses forward with his plan. “He chose you because he thought you’d be loyal,” says Mellie. “That’s probably why he chose you,” says Andrew. Hmm. This is also true.

This leads to one of the most interesting exchanges we’ve ever seen between Mellie and Fitz. So we already know that they’re well aware of their respective infidelities.

“We sleep better when she’s lying between us,” Mellie says of Liv, happy that she’s meant to soon be free.

Now that we’ve thrown those niceties out the window, there’s nothing but real talk between them, and a certain amount of strange respect for each others’ feelings.

“America can forgive a man a hundred infidelities. A woman not even one. I’ll be ruined,” she says. At this point, Fitz asks her what she wants, prompting one of the most badass and honest responses in the show’s history.

With that in mind, Fitz says he’s not going to push Andrew out. Which is interesting because we know how this show likes twists and turns. Either this is the set up for conflict in the White House that will last a few more episodes, or there’s going to be a gaspworthy happening involving Andrew sometime in the not-so-distant future.

When we check in on Liv, the auction has started, she’s chatting it up with Ian, and things seem to be going according to plan. Liv says she’s not going to go for less than $1.5 billion, which of course makes Ian happy. But Gus, the captor that Liv hit over the head a couple of episodes ago before shooting her way out of captivity, isn’t happy that Liv is being treated like a co-conspirator rather than a captive. So with no warning or remorse, he shoots Ian dead.

Now, of course, the situation has gotten out of her control — she’s got blood on her face, Gus is threatening all sorts of nastiness — and Liv tries to do some of her PR voodoo on the two remaining captors, who seem young and pretty naive. She’s trying to convince them that Gus will kill them to keep all the money. “Look at your screens, what they’re willing to pay. [The bidding is climbing higher and higher on the dark net auction.] Look how powerful I am.” She says she’ll make sure they “stay free, alive and generously compensated for [their] skills.”

They’re unconvinced.

With that, the auction continues, until it’s abruptly brought to a halt. There’s been a big buyer – Iran. “You smashed my head open and then you killed my best friend. Who did you think I was going to sell you to?” says Gus. Yeah, true too. He is a baddie and a psycho.

So when we next see Liv, she’s being taken to a meeting place in the desert with a bag over her head.

With that, speculation began zipping across Twitter. After all, the one character we haven’t seen as of yet is Papa Pope. Soooo…

But before we leave this episode, Huck has to have one more freak out. Now Jake, rightfully, is concerned that Huck might not be in his right mind after the carnage he witnessed.

“Huck always pulls himself back,” says Quinn. “I have the dental bills to prove it.” Haha. OK.

But then when the auction ends and he doesn’t know what’s happened to Liv, Huck just starts ranting and raving about Liv being dead; that pieces of her will be delivered to the president to make him bend to these people’s awful will. That’s when Quinn has had enough and starts punching him and telling him to quit.

Then you have the White House and Fitz’s advisors, who are now also confused about the situation. Fitz has one answer: “Extraction!”

But the heads of the military have other ideas. They have to “neutralize” Liv because she knows too many state secrets. Hell to the no, says Fitz. (We’re paraphrasing.)

So that’s that… an action packed and rather gruesome episode. But so we can end with a chuckle: You may have noticed last night that “Sallie Mae” was trending for a bit. That’s because Quinn fired off a zinger we can all relate to.

So parting question: Is this good or bad for Sallie Mae?