Onion Holiday Party: David Cross Brought His B-Material

With the blogsphere up in arms about the Onion‘s Annual Obligatory Party, we were a little afraid. Would this be like a fashion show where PETA members stand outside with paint cans, assaulting fur-wearing patrons, but with disenfranchised Gawker readers subbing for animal lovers?

Arriving at Union Hall, were pleasantly surprised to note no open hostility. A $15 donation to 826NYC got us in and one drink ticket good for a bottle of Bass. After snacking on hors d’oeuvres and owning the bocce court for the better part of an hour, we moved downstairs to the performance area. David Cross brought his B material, knowing this crowd would laugh at anything. We collectively obliged, but were disappointed nonetheless. Someone told us that Sloan sounded “a lot like Nirvana.” This couldn’t have been less true, although we did learn that the Canadian quartet is skull-crushingly loud.


On our way out of Union Hall, we ran into the Onion‘s Glenn Severance, the brave soul in charge of the event. After spending a week battling the blogs, he was justifiably reluctant to speak with FishbowlNY. But after we assured him that we had a great time and simply wanted his thoughts, he happily proclaimed the night “awesome,” noting it raised between $5,000 and $6,000 dollars for the do-gooders at 826. The only change next year? “We’re selling tickets.”

— Noah Davis