No standing Army at the Oscars

And speaking of Army Archerd (see below), Archerd will not be in his customary entry-corridor greeting position at the 2006 Oscars, reports The Envelope. Here’s AMPAS executive director Bruce Davis explaining why:

“I’ve persuaded him that there’s a lot to be said for actually sitting down comfortably and watching the Academy Awards from the front orchestra, instead of working the carpet for three hours and then spending the rest of the evening gathering quotations from winners and trying to keep them straight in his head,” says Davis.

This year, adds Davis, “Army’s job…will be to have the best possible time at the show, and to pull up a chair and enjoy Wolfgang’s meal at the ball. I’m not sure he’ll be able to ignore his instincts entirely, but I for one am going to enjoy seeing him ease into the role of ‘guest,’ as distinct from ‘dervish.'”

That’s kind of condescending. Secret conspiracy-theory alternate explanation: the Academy is worried that the sight of a citizen as senior as Archerd would prompt the young male demographic the Oscars telecast so desperately craves to turn off the TV in favor of another round of Halo.