Newt Wants a Zoo

Nope. That’s not a newly discovered Dr. Seuss book. Newt Gingrich really wants a zoo.

If you visit the Gingrich Productions website, you’ll find a page dedicated to Newt’s favorite zoos in America. It wouldn’t be a Gingrich Production unless we were treated to thoughtful analysis by the former Speaker on each location. Newt says the Omaha Zoo is “is one of the three best zoos in America. Its nocturnal house is the best in the world.” Thanks, Newt! Commenting on the Zoo at Hershey Park, Gingrich says it’s close to where he grew up. He “spent many wonderful afternoons wandering around and imagining that someday I could become a zoo keeper.” Wow. Such dedication. We couldn’t help but wonder, what kind of animal would Newt be? What immediately comes to mind is a shaved polar bear who is pregnant with quintuplets. Forget being a zoo KEEPER. He could be an attraction at a zoo. In all seriousness, Gingrich’s love of zoos began at an early age.

The Awl uncovered an early mention of young Newton Leroy Gingrich. In 1954, an 11-year-old Gingrich (as frightening as that sounds) actually went to the mayor of his town to suggest that he and his friends could round up enough animals to inhabit their own zoo in a local park. This just drives home the fact that Newt has been a thorn in the side of politicians since a young age. Little did that mayor know that young, presumably chubby Newton, would grow up to be a candidate for President and a self-described “amateur paleontologist.”