My left brain says, “You’re a lying sack of…”

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So, the the California Supreme Court unanimously ruled yesterday that the foul-mouthed exchanges amongst the writers on “Friends” did not violate the rights of a writing assistant suing on the grounds of harassment. story.joey.jpg

Without addressing the merits of the young lady’s complaint, we can decidedly say that the argument put forth by the “Friends” writers, while obviously efficacious, positively reeks of chickenshit.

“The ability of the ‘right brain’ to engage in intuitive, holistic processing is severely impaired when the ‘left brain’ must unduly occupy itself with censorship concerns,” rhe defendants’ attorney, Barry Kellman of Greenberg Glusker, said. “In rejecting the plaintiff’s position by a vote of 7-0, the justices have sent a strong message that the important legal prohibition against harassment does not create an unrestricted invitation to the judicial system to meddle in the artistic process.”

(Translation: If we can’t call our writing buddies ‘a bunch of stupid c-nts’ in front of you, our assistant, we can’t possibly create middlebrow art!)

Rather than have these poor scribes at “Friends” face the stultifying inter-hemispheric dissonance described by Keller, we’d suggest they get all lobotomies.

But judging from NBC’s “Joey,” it appears they’ve already done so.