IT’S MY BOOK GODDAMMIT!
MSNBC host Chris Hayes, who sure knows how to butter up military vets on Memorial Day (wink! wink!), has his first book out. And what a better way to celebrate it then this pitch to interview him. The title: Twilight of the Elites: America After Meritocracy! We had no idea Hayes had written a f&%ked up snobby version of the Twilight saga!
Here’s an offer you can’t refuse: “Schedule an interview on June 13 to hear how Hayes outlines the cause and effects of America’s crisis of authority and calls for a sweeping overhaul of the social order!!” Interview times run from 7 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. and then again from 1:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. (Anyone with a book title like that certainly needs a two hour lunch break.) Schedule an interview by writing here: email@example.com.
Get your dictionaries or English translators. The complex book description is as follows: “Hayes rethinks some of the fundamental ideas about the way our society works, offering an original theory about how we have gotten here. He persuasively concludes that the meritocratic system upon which we depend to select the country’s best and brightest is fatally flawed, creating a ruling elite that is no longer functional.”
Hayes personalizes things as only Hazy can: “A proud product of the meritocracy himself, Hayes uses his own alma mater, Hunter High School in New York City, to examine how those who climb the ladder based on their skills then rig the game by either pulling the ladder up after them, or selectively lowering it to help their allies.” (Oh, kinda like the Boybanders he has on his show all the time? Writing from personal experience, we love this!)
In what is the longest book pitch we’ve seen in awhile, they list all the topics that Hayes can discuss in an interview. They all sound terribly
We highlighted our three favorites.
In an interview, Hayes can discuss:
•The three primary sources of power in the twenty-first century: money, platform, and networks—and why he uses those to define what he means by “elite”
•The core dissatisfaction shared by members of MoveOn, Occupy Wall Street, and the Tea Party
•The danger in the fact that we increasingly trust the men with the guns more than the men in the suits
•The fundamental problem with meritocracy: how difficult it is to maintain it in its pure and noble form and why, as it degrades, the elites it produces fail to deliver the results we have come to expect—and need—from our nation’s leaders
•Fractal inequality, or why being part of the .001% can feel like being one of the 99%
•Why Smartness + Social Distance = Catastrophe
•The dirty secret of meritocracy, America’s most vaunted institution: it’s actually based on elitism
•What the steroids scandal in baseball reveals about the ways that meritocracies are prone to corruption
•What a post-meritocratic society would look like—and why the answer doesn’t lie solely with education
•Two schools of thought on reform of our social order: insurrectionist vs. institutionalist
•The Iron Law of Meritocracy: Eventually, the inequality produced by a meritocratic system will grow large enough to subvert the mechanisms of mobility
•The path forward: establishing mechanisms by which the power of the current elite can be radically reduced
•The need for a newly radicalized upper middle class to challenge the incumbent interests
•Why this is not a left/right problem