Mr. Stewart Comes to Washington


Although Jon Stewart is a NYC media personality, perhaps no other city loves him more than Washington, D.C., if for no other reason than the fact that, well, it’s largely us that he ridicules the most. So it’s always a grand affair when Stewart comes into town.

He was the headline act for George Washington University’s (where Crossfire hung its hat for many a year…) homecoming weekend and he did two shows on Friday night.

“I can’t believe this is homecoming weekend…and that this is actually the ‘big game.’ Very sad…”

One of the funnier moments came during the second show when a student asked Stewart for his thought’s on CNN’s “The Situation Room.” Stewart said he didn’t think too highly of it and said that the show just gave soundbytes without analysis.

Another student then pointed out that Wolf Blitzer was sitting in the fifth row.

“Oh sh*t. Really?!?” Stewart replied. He then went on to say that only a man with the aptitude and intelligence of Blitzer could handle 6 different screens.

Quotes from his shows and press conference after the jump…

“I’m performing tonight and the Boston Pops are playing tomorrow night, and I think that the folks at George Washington University were trying to find one person who enjoys both of those.”

On Crossfire:

“Oh yeah, there’s this funny story about this show I hated…”

“Long story short: I ended a program on CNN. And I learned that if you hate something, all you have to do is say so and it goes away.”

“I had no idea that that was going to be what it was–even as I did it.”

“I felt that Crossfire was the Mississippi of theatrical talking point shows…from which all other shitty shows flowed.”

“It was in no way personal. I don’t know Tucker, I don’t pretend to know him. He just seemed like a dick that day.”

“I can occasionally step out from what I do to say what I think but I can’t–and shouldn’t–do it a lot. I need to stick to what I do best.”

To the audience:

“Washington, D.C.: You, more than anybody, are responsible for the shit we are in.”

On blogging:

Responding to question from a student who wondered how to get news outside of the mainstream media:

“You’ve already done it” through blogs, which Stewart called “agile and nimble.” He added: “Now all you have to do is figure out how to get more porn on them.”

“Some blogs are written really well, some are written by people who were given a jar of Ritalin and allowed to write as long as they can.”

“I believe in the 12 percent theory of goodness…that 12 percent of things are good and the rest is crap. Same for blogs: 12 percent are written really well and the rest is just maturbating by their keyboard…not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Oh, and Stewart doesn’t have an email account.

On Bush and the Iraq war:

“I don’t know if he’s the worst president ever. I do know that the Iraq war was one of the most egregious mistakes we’ve ever made.”

On Parenthood

“The red/blue state schism is far less severe than the schism between ‘with kids’ and ‘without kids’…because you are now protecting someone.”