— Chris Rock hired Anthony J. Pellicano in the late 90s to crush a model’s paternity suit, but never authorized the wiretaps and shadowing of her. It’s, hands down, our Denial of tha Day: “No one from our camp would have every knowingly entered into an agreement with Pellicano to do anything illegal,” Rock’s spokesman told the Times. “Let me put it like this: When you hire somebody to fix your TV, you don’t necessarily think he’s going to hook you up for free cable.”
— In a subtantial development in the avoidance of a much-feared (and much-expected) strike next year, Hollywood’s labor unions have wrangled the first ever union contracts covering those who make TV shows for cellphones. Still left uncovered: Those who’ll eventually make shows for waffle irons and George Foreman grills.
— The LAPD gets tough: No more flatfoots moonlighting as private dicks. Also: We seek a ban on Raymond Chandler-esque summaries.