It’s May of 2015, but apparently Democalypse 2016 is already upon us…
On Tuesday night’s episode of “The Daily Show,” host Jon Stewart took his viewers down the rabbit hole of the good, the bad and the ugly within the race for the White House — with very little good to be seen. Quickly brushing aside Mike Huckabee for his pseudo-medical infomercials and Dr. Ben Carson for comparing the Afford Healthcare Act to slavery and Nazi Germany, Stewart set his sights on Mark Halperin‘s interview with Ted Cruz — in which Halperin seemingly tests Cruz on his Cuba heritage.
“Senator Cruz, I’d like you to finish this sentence for me if you would,” joked Stewart, upon playing a clip of the aforementioned interview. “‘Upside, inside out. She’s living’ la vida… blank. La vida… blank.’ Senator? Anything, Senator? Are you even Hispanic, Senator? Fake Cuban says what?”
Stewart would then turn his focus to the early frontrunners of the presidential race, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush — juxtaposing how the two candidates were handling their dynastic records. He began with Hillary seemingly running against her husband’s incarceration and immigration policies.
“Looks like she’s running against Bill’s record,” said Stewart. “Trouble in paradise, if you know what I mean.. And by paradise, I mean a politically symbiotic partnership based on mutual ambition for global domination.”
In contrast, Stewart ripped Jeb for refusing to run against his brother’s questionable foreign policy record.
“One of his top foreign policy advisors… for him to poop on?” Stewart said, referring to Jeb’s acknowledgment that his brother is one of his top advisors on Israel. “There’s gotta be a final clause in that sentence, right? I think at this point, most of America agrees that when it comes to foreign policy, George W. Bush is an excellent painter.”
“Long-term, mentioning his brother’s name is like wearing an ‘I F*ck Dogs’ t-shirt during your campaign,” ended Stewart, citing Jeb’s interview with Megyn Kelly on Monday. “You might be appealing to a small fringe of dead-enders, but most people don’t want another dog-f*cker for president.”
Watch the “vetting,” courtesy of The Daily Show