Job Applicant Fail!
The thesaurus is not your friend when writing a resume, as Clue Wagon has discovered.
[The worst resume I’ve ever seen] was like a thesaurus threw up on a piece of magenta resume paper. So, for example, instead of “Used Microsoft Excel to produce budget reports,” it said, “Exert authority over numerical symbols juxtaposed upon an electronic gridlike structure, propagating allocation paradigms for narrative demonstrations of capitalization.” It was five pages long, even though the guy was only a few years out of high school.
The
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