I'd Like To Thank The Academy, And NPR, For Giving Me This Honor

We all secretly have our Oscar speeches in our heads, don’t we?

Along with our moms, and our deities and our third-grade teachers, we’d use the airtime to make a romantic or meaningful offer of thanks to someone unexpected.

Or maybe we’d use the limelight to really stick it to Tracy Schindler for turning the entire fourth-grade class against us and stealing Ben Glassman out from under our noses and sending us home crying in a heap of fractured self esteem nearly every day of our wretched grade school lives.

Or something.

Either

AW+

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