How Many Woodwards Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Having repeatedly eviscerated Tim Russert, Arianna has moved on to Bob Woodward, labeling him the ‘dumb blonde’ of American journalism. He is, she says, “so awed by his proximity to power that he buys whatever he’s being sold. In her scathing 1996 essay in the New York Review of Books, Joan Didion criticized Woodward’s reporting as marked by ‘a scrupulous passivity, an agreement to cover the story not as it is occurring but as it is presented, which is to say as it is manufactured.'”

She continues: “Woodward also told [Larry King] ‘I am strictly in the middle.’ The problem is, the truth isn’t always in the middle; it’s often located on the sidelines, or hiding in the shadows amidst the endless rush of detail Woodward so loves to fill his books with.

“What Woodward fails to do again and again is connect the dots. He prefers to gather as many dots as he can, jam-pack his pages with them, and then let the little buggers hang out by themselves. Critical thinking that draws conclusions can be such a messy thing.”

If what Arianna is saying is true, it opens up all sorts of possibilities for new jokes. For instance:

Q: What’s the difference between Bob Woodward and a supermarket cart?
A: The supermarket cart has a mind of its own.

Q: Why does Bob Woodward keep a coat hanger in his back seat?
A: In case he locks the keys in his car.

Q: How do you keep Bob Woodward busy all day?
A: Put him in the Oval Office and tell him to sit in the corner.