GOP Creates Video Game to Round up Supporters

Well, if you ever wanted to assume the role of a conservative elephant (trunk and all) and use your massive feet to stomp out job-killing taxes and misguided liberal “mudslingers,” the GOP has just the thing for you!

The National Republican Senatorial Campaign has developed a multi-level online computer game called “Mission Majority,” which is made to look like a retro 8-bit video game (Millennials love nostalgia). Players can take on the persona of an elephant named Giopi (which sounds suspiciously like “GOP’), and spend their valuable time defeating enemy “taxers” and “mudslingers,” who, when vanquished, recite particularly unfortunate audio-clips from Democrats like Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Mark Pryor.

The point, of course, isn’t just to entertain the constituency, but to rack up contact information of like-minded individuals — in other words, potential voters, volunteers and donors.