Get In Shape Girl!

If you thought that exercising with Condi was intriguing, how about this:

Get your sweat on with the Posties!

    We are happy to announce that the new Fitness Center at the Northwest building will open on April 12, 2006…We think you’ll like the results. The Fitness Center will have treadmills, bikes, elliptical trainers, a set of weight machines and free weights (up to 25 lbs).

You’re maxing out at 25 lbs.? Seriously? Are they trying to reinforce the reputation that journalists are wussies? And has no one seen the guns on Ben Bradlee?

    The facility contains locker rooms with showers.

(Please, Brain: Stop conjuring up towel-snapping images…)

And now for the lack-of-money shot:

    Starting in May, we will charge a small membership fee to help cover equipment maintenance and replacement and the cost of the trainer. Membership fees will vary based on an employee’s salary and will range from $5 to $15 per month. Membership fees will be handled through payroll deduction.

Pro-rated membership? Are they modelling their gym membership fees after the tax code?

And last but not least:

    We expect the facility to be a bit crowded initially

You’re joking right? We’re journalists. We thrive on being dumpy. If our rumps aren’t perfectly molded in the shape of an Aeron chair, then, dammit: We just haven’t been working hard enough.