Journo/TV-film writer/novelist Frank Coffey used to just read blogs. Now he writes one. Coffey’s Venice-based parody sports website, eTrueSports.com, is “committed to taking scraps of truth and turning them into absurdist nonsense.”
Let’s see how well he does with our nonsense.
1. What newspapers do you read? You mean, like, newspapers made out of paper? NYT, LAT, WSJ, Variety and VenicePaper.
2. Which ones do you move your lips to while reading?
Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, snarling.
3. Which Web sites (aside from FBLA, of course) are on your favorites bookmark? NPR, The Daily Tube, Slate, LA Observed, G-4, Rubber Chicken Cards and, in relentless self-promotion, eTrueSports.com.
4. Where do you get your car washed? Travel-heavy neighbor’s driveway.
5. Do you know your dentist’s first name? Joe.
6. Do you believe newspapers are going to die? If so, when? Please remove question from list.
7. What was the last book you read?
Native Tongue by Carl Hiassen.
8 .What’s the last book you say you read? The Clinton Wars by Sidney Blumenthal (faster acting than a Tzi fly bite).
9. If you got a unicorn what would you name it? After my therapist, Reggie.
10. What does you TiVo think about you? ‘Enough with The Simpsons!‘
11. character of fiction you most resemble? Walter Mitty.
12. Who plays you in your bio-pic? Christopher Guest
13. Do you floss? “Aspiring Flosser.”
14. Did you ever believe your toys come alive when you leave the room? Do you still? Toys not allowed. Thick books on French Revolution which busk Edith Piaf songs on weekends.
15. How many old cell phones do you own? Responding honestly reveals more than I care to reveal. Final answer.
16. Best show legendary biz/movie star encounter.
Mickey Rooney, who drop kicked a wadded-up paper towel into a men’s room waste basket.
17. Do you get satellite radio? I don’t and I’m damned proud of it.
18. And as a follow do you “get” satellite radio? See answer above.
19. Do you read the Enquirer/InTouch/Us/People? Nope.
20. Do you lie about it? NO! (Geez Louise.)
FBLA 20 Questions