FAQ On Miller, Note Style

The Note lays out a Q&A on the Judith Miller ordeal that is both funny and wholly uninformative. Clearly, they–like us–go to bed each night, quietly whispering to the heavens above: “Oh please, tell us something soon.”

    Q: Do we know most of what Fitzgerald knows–an investigation largely focused on Karl and Scooter–or do we know next to nothing about what he is focused on?

    A: We don’t know. …

    Q. Which political and investigative reporters know the names of the FBI agents assigned to the case?

    A. The smart ones. …

    Q. Has the White House planned for a post-indictment world?

    A. We don’t know. …

    Q. Have Democrats planned for a post-indictment world?

    A. Oh, yes.

The full Q&A after the jump.


Q.: Must Patrick Fitzgerald file a report on his investigation if he brings no indictments?

A.: No.

Q. Can Fitzgerald file a report if he brings no indictments?

A. It’s unclear, but probably not.

Q. How much legal and proper coordination has there been involving the lawyers of Administration witnesses before the grand jury over the course of the investigation?

A. We have no clue.

Q. How much not-so-proper coordination has there been?

A. None, we are sure.

Q. Has the White House counsel’s office been involved in any aspect of this beyond subpoena response?

A. We don’t know.

Q. What facial expression does Ari Fleischer make when he gets a legal bill?

A. We don’t know.

Q. How much time has President Bush and Vice President Cheney spent thinking about what Fitzgerald might do and the implications it could have?

A. We don’t know.

Q: Is there any chance that either President Bush or Vice President Cheney could be in Fitzgerald’s sights?

A: We don’t know about Fitzgerald, but the blogs have targeted Cheney.

Q: Do we know most of what Fitzgerald knows–an investigation largely focused on Karl and Scooter–or do we know next to nothing about what he is focused on?

A: We don’t know.

Q: What was so serious about the evidence that Fitzgerald presented in his court filings that every judge who has viewed it has sided with him against the rights of the press?

A: We don’t know.

Q. Who are Bloomberg’s Dick Keil’s sources on this story?

A. We don’t know.

Q. Which political and investigative reporters know the names of the FBI agents assigned to the case?

A. The smart ones.

Q. What does Joseph Tate’s assistant do with all those phone messages from reporters?

A. We don’t know.

Q. Has the White House planned for a post-indictment world?

A. We don’t know.

Q. If they have, who has been in the meetings?

A. We don’t know.

Q. Have Democrats planned for a post-indictment world?

A. Oh, yes.

Q. Who has been in those meetings?

A. John Podesta and Jennifer Palmieri, the Ferdinand and Isabella of Democratic politics.

Q. How many members of the Gang of 500 think any indicted White House official would have to resign by the close of business the day of indictment?

A. 448. (And half of the fifty-two holdouts are leaning “yes.”)

Q: How many members of the Gang of 500 think if there are indictments, there will also be pardons?

A: 210. Some are angry about this. Some are praying for it.

Q. Is Time’s Mike Allen right that we are going to hear a “blame the media” pushback if a White House official is indicted?

A. We don’t know.

Q: What is the “White House business” vs. “legal preparation” ratio in Karl Rove’s workflow?

A: We don’t know.

Q. Can Judy Miller go off the record with Don Van Atta?

A. Not if we know Don.

Q. Speaking of the New York Times, does Jill Abramson know that tomorrow is Rick Berke’s birthday?

A. Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! She has a big surprise party in the works!!!!

Q: Will Judy Miller write a first person account of any of this for the New York Times?

A: We don’t know.

Q: Who will be the first New York Times columnist to finally write about this case?

A: We don’t know, but we’d bet on Frank Rich.

Q: Will the long awaited New York Times piece become another Jayson Blair they-still-don’t-get-it problem? Or will they tell all?

A: We don’t know.

Q: How will Arianna fill the Huffington Post when this case is closed?

A: She’ll think of something.

Q. Who is Bob Novak’s “original” “source”?

A. How can you be sure he had one?

Q. Could there be an indictment today?

A. Don’t bet on it, but don’t rule it out.

Q: Could there be a plea agreement today?

A: Don’t bet on it, but don’t rule it out.