Dude, This Is Some Story… Dude.

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Dude, dude, dude. This is not the way to write your article, dude. From the Des Moines Register:

This “Dude” did not abide. A Des Moines said he was robbed by a guy whom he referred to as “Dude” in a Des Moines police report. The details of the incident are reminiscent of the 1998 comedy The Big Lebowski starring Jeff Bridges as the “Dude” Lebowski, who’s mistaken for a millionaire, has his rug urinated upon and tries to seek compensation. But this “Dude,” according to the report , was being very “un-dude.” Aaron Ilvess, 24, said he had arranged to meet “Dude” over his lunch break to return a PlayStation game. Ilvess said he does not know Dude’s real name. After he returned the PlayStation, he returned home around 1 p.m., opened the door to his residence and was punched in the face by “Dude” and an unknown black male. Ilves said he fell to the ground and curled up into a ball. One of the men then returned from his kitchen with a knife and threatened to stab him if he didn’t give him money.
Ilves said the “Dude” and his partner talking about his brother getting into a fight with their friend and owing them money.

And life imitates Onion yet again, dude.