DC Press: Love Me, Love Me...

...say that you love me. Cuz apparently, well, we're not. Check out this list--"50 Most Loathsome People in America"--put together by "The Beast: America's Best Fiend." DC media folk show up an awful lot on the list. The Loathsomes: 45. Robert Novak. "Exhibit A: The sheer, dreadful, angler-fish ugliness of the man, which can only be explained by the gradual accumulation of several lifetime's worth of misanthropy, or possibly possession by demonic entity." 41. Charles Krauthammer. "...really only presents a passable facsimile of gravitas, substituting vocabulary for intelligence, mischaracterization for argument, and intolerable haughtiness for authority." 34. Scooter Libby. "Exhibit A: "The Aspens turn in clusters," or something. Sentence: Raped by bear." 32. Kenneth Tomlinson. "Why is it that whenever conservatives complain about the "liberal bias" of investigative journalism programs, they seek to "balance" them out with shows that feature wealthy Republicans sitting in chairs and talking?... Exhibit A: Next year's children's special, "Elmo and Milton Friedman's Supply Side Christmas Adventure." Guckert, Bumiller, Miss Run Amok and Friedman after the jump... 24. Jim Guckert. "Charges: The most hilariously twisted figure of 2005, including Michael Jackson." 14. Elisabeth Bumiller. "Charges: The ultimate Bush hagiographer, Bumiller is responsible for unearthing such essential information as Bush's iPod playlist and how he always makes his bed time. Bumiller's weekly presidential throat job in the rapidly declining New York Times, the "White House Letter," reads like transparent ad copy for the president. ....Bumiller revealed the secret of her success to her alumni magazine at Northwestern: doing the very least that her job description requires. "At every press conference I stand up every time and ask a question," Bumiller said. "No matter what." Wow." 8. Judith Miller. "Charges: The human warhead Ahmed Chalabi fired into America's collective ass on behalf of the federal government." 7. Thomas Friedman. "Charges: ...arming people even stupider than him with the illusion of knowledge in the form of a crude vocabulary of badly mixed metaphors and ill-conceived flashcard images, thereby having a negative net effect on the nation's intellect. India and China are "like a bottle of champagne" which someone has been "shaking for 40 years;" the modern economy dictates that "you need to be at a certain level to be able to claim your share of a global pie that is both expanding and becoming more complex;" and the threat of terrorism is a "bubble" that threatens to "undermine" open society. Friedman's disorienting literary ineptitude is nearly enough to distract us from the indisputable fact that he has no fucking idea what he's talking about.

Fishbowl

DC Press: Love Me, Love Me...

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