NY Daily News Proclaims Diddy Dead Since 1996

Sean Combs — aka Puffy, aka Puff Daddy, aka Guy Who Blessed The World with Da Band, aka P. Diddy, aka Diddy — is dead.

The New York Daily News reported that despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, Combs has been dead for the past 18 years. He was killed in a 1996 shooting, which — sadly enough — was the same year Tupac Shakur was murdered.

We would like to thank the Daily News for alerting us to Combs’ death.

To our dearly departed Diddy, please know that it’s kinda hard with you not around. Know you in heaven, smilin’ down. Watching us while we pray for you; every day we pray for you. Till the day we meet again, in my heart is where I keep you friend.