Two writers are leaving the Los Angeles Daily Journal today- Superior Court reporter Cortney Fielding and Associate Editor Daniel Yi. Their goodbye emails can be found on Gary Scott and LA Observed, respectively. You’d think we’d all be sick of reading those farewell notes by now, but as they become more frequent, they also become more original. Daniel Yi, who is leaving the Daily Journal for a communications job the Port of Long Beach, let his former co-workers know how he would handle future media inquiries:
And for any of you who might one day call the Port of Long Beach on a story you are working on, probably involving some unfound allegation or bogus lawsuit against that fine institution, let me leave you with my list of 10 standard responses.
10 – We do not comment on pending litigation.
9 – We have not seen the complaint, therefore we cannot comment.
8 – No one is available to comment for your puny story.
7 – No comment.
6 – I have no comment.
5 – The Port of Long Beach has no comment.
4 – The dog ate my comment.
3 – The Port of Long Beach is an economic engine that provides thousands of jobs in the region while still being conscientious about the environment and world peace… What was your question again?
2 – Did you try the Port of LA?
And the number One standard response you are likely to hear if you call me at my new job….
1. The Daily Who?