Come on, dude, he’s nine

Someone’s a whiny baby-pants at the New Yorker, but it isn’t Adam Gopnik, it’s the jerk who sent Gawker the email complaining about Adam Gopnik’s 9-year old son joining the New Yorker softball team:

You would be doing mankind a favor, not to mention the majority of the staff of The New Yorker, if you would try to drive a nail or two into a coffin built for Adam Gopnik… His over-the-top presumption du jour is having insinuated his 9-year-old son Luke (a.k.a. “Luca” — because, well, the Gopniks are Eurotrash wannabes) into a role on The New Yorker’s softball team. No one invited him to play. Gopnik just showed up and took advantage of the agreeable disposition of the team’s coach. (We play in the Publishers Softball League. No one takes any of this seriously, of course, or didn’t, until Gopnik came along and, with his relentless narcissism, appropriated it as his own.) The kid’s a slightly whiny pain in the ass but it should be said in his defense that he’s far more capable on the field than his father, who is inept beyond belief, a parody of the wuss everybody made fun of in the locker room.

The best part? “No one takes any of this seriously, of course” — except for you, complaining about the performance of a nine-year old on the baseball field. On the internet. Shame on you. You suck.

p.s. This post has nothing to do with the fact that Adam Gopnik is kind of Canadian. We just like kids and hate whiny vituperative grudgemongering petty evil mean jerks.