We were so excited earlier this week to learn that author, New York columnist and Spy co-founder Kurt Andersen was writing a musical, that we decided to pick up where Page Six left off and actually ask him about it. As it turns out, Andersen has just finished writing the book for the musical in collaboration with lyricist Martin Charnin (the co-creator of “Annie” with Charles Strouse, and a previous collaborator with Andersen on 1995’s “Loose Lips“), using music from the library of late composer Leroy Anderson. Since we’re unfamiliar with Anderson’s work (and as for Andersen’s, well, it’s difficult to extrapolate from German-inflected encomia to HBO and Gehry-tastic ruminations on artchitecture), we asked him about his influences and the type of show to expect (i.e. would the finished product lean more towards Hammerstein or Sondheim?). Said Andersen: “It would be unwise of me, I think, to suggest where the show may sit on the Hammerstein-to-Sondheim spectrum, but my favorite musical (by far) when I was a kid was ‘West Side Story.'”
Armed with all this knowledge, as well as with our intimate knowledge of “Annie”* we’ve come up with what we’re sure will be the big showstopping numbers of “Broomhilda: The Musical”:
- I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here In The Enchanted Forest With A Troll And A Buzzard
- I Feel Warty (Oh So Warty)
- We Got Broomhilda!
- Gee, Officer Krupke, Put That Billy Club Away, It Doesn’t Scare Me — I’m A Freaking Witch, For God’s Sake
- You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Pointy Hat And A Cape
- Broomhilda: Say It Soft And It’s Almost Like Praying
- I’m An Ordinary Woman With Feelings, I’d Like A Man To Nibble On My Ear…But I’ll Admit, No Man Has Bit, Probably Because I Keep Turning Them Into Toads
- Broomhilda Won’t Be An Orphan For Long
- I Like To Be In The Enchanted Forest, OK By Me In The Enchanted Forest
I’ll Get You, My Little Pretty! And Your Little Dog, Too(sorry, that green face threw me off for a sec)
- Broomhilda! Broomhilda! We love ya, Broomhilda! You’re only [as long as it takes to get a producer on board] away!
*Fishbowl’s first big moment on stage came as crybaby Molly at age 8 – “Santa Claus we never see” rang particularly true at a Jewish summer camp.