We’re not really sure why you’re reading this article. Maybe you want to get rid of a few followers. Maybe you’re tired of putting on a “nice” face on Twitter. Whatever your sick and twisted reasonings, we’ve got the ultimate guide to being a jerk on Twitter, just for you.
There are plenty of ways you can ditch proper Twitter etiquette and become a vile and repulsive member of Twitter’s network. Now, we’re not saying that all of the below “ways to be a jerk” are necessarily all bad – in fact, we’re guilty of some of them, some of the time. But if you’re consistently doing the things on this list, be warned: your followers likely think you’re a jerk, and they’re going to start leaving you, if the mass exodus hasn’t already begun.
Don’t credit your sources
This is a big one if you want to become a Twitter outcast. While most Twitter users will link to a story or attribute a retweet to the person they retweeted, the real Twitter jerks will never credit their sources.
Think about all of the ideas you could take credit for if you’re willing to become a Twitter pariah. Just pick the best tweets in your timeline, and copy+paste them into your tweet composition window. Then, all your followers will think you came up with those thoughts! Just make sure not to @mention the person who actually created the original tweet, and you’re on your way to becoming king or queen of Twitter jerk-dom.
Sell, and sell hard
Twitter users will quickly brand you as a jerk if you constantly try to sell them something. They hate it when their timeline is filled with unabashed self-promotion, robotic product plugs, and thinly veiled sales pitches.
If you’re looking to become the scourge of the Twittersphere, do nothing but sell your goods on Twitter. Don’t interact, don’t offer customer service, don’t retweet things that interest you (unless following the previous piece of advice), and don’t ever add any of your personality into your tweets. Just try to sell, sell, sell, and you’ll become an unfollow-able in no time!
Consistently break the “140-character rule”
Another great way to be a jerk on Twitter is to repeatedly send tweets longer than 140-characters. Twitter has the character restriction in place for a reason, so if you push aside that norm like you are above it, you’ll no doubt alienate a number of followers.
Now, there are two ways to do this, and only one is really jerk material. If you want to truly use this method to become a Twitter jerk, do not indicate at the end of your first tweet in a multi-part tweet that more is coming by using […] or something similar. And absolutely do not type the full, longer-than-140-character tweet out first and then break it up when you send it, so all of the message appear in quick succession. You want to take your time with these broken-up tweets, so that your followers read the first one, and then have to read through 5, 10 or more tweets from others they are following until they find your second part later in their timeline.
Hijack every trending topic
Adding hashtags to your tweets is one way to become part of a conversation on Twitter – but it is also a way to completely turn off all of your followers. The best way to harness the power of trending topics to become a jerk is simply to add them to every single tweet, especially those that have nothing to do with the topic. Want to complain about the service at a restaurant? Add #SuperBowl to it. Looking to get some attention because you’re at a club? Try including #Elections.
Jumping on to every trending topic just to get your tweets more exposure is a sure-fire way to be branded as a jerk on Twitter – and it’s especially effective if you stuff a very short tweet with two, three or more trending topics at once!
Belittle your followers
This one is a no-brainer. Insult them, demean them, belittle them, and your followers will leave you in no time. Spewing hateful tweets is perhaps the best way to be become a Twitter jerk, so only implement this method if you are truly going for the gold.