Donny Deutsch failed to give his scheduled keynote address at the National Advertising Division’s Advertising Week forum this morning. He had a conflict with his TV-show sked, an NAD rep said. (Actually, he appeared to be building a house or something on the Today show.) So, Jordan Zimmerman (shown here) took his place in front of about 200 advertising lawyers, an audience probably larger than that for some CNBC shows. Zimmerman’s speech was a surreal one. Here are some highlights. On the subject of “moving the needle”: “Do you think you can take a needle through airport security? Of course not. So why would you think you can deposit it in the bank?” On doing what clients want: “If we’re going to get fired, let’s get fired for doing it our way, not the client’s way.” On globalization: “Christopher Columbus was an idiot. The world is really flat.” On lack of respect for inventiveness: “Jonas Salk has never graced the cover of Adweek.” My favorite moment, though, was when he displayed a mock newspaper headline about the woes of Delta, which said, “Delta Files for Chapter 11.” Unfortunately, the display screen was large enough to reveal that the story below was actually about St. Patrick’s Day at the Atsugi naval base in Japan. Get this man an art director!
—Posted by Jim Edwards