Zen: Now part of a complete breakfast

Optimum_zen_cerealSo, you’re seeking a high fiber cereal *and* spiritual enlightenment? Rolled oats and old rotes rolled into one? You’ve found it in the latest cereal by Nature’s Path. It’s called Optimum Zen and it boasts the ability to bring “inner harmony.” It features ginger and cranberry bits, along with flax seed and many high-fiber crunchy things AdFreak can’t identify. Whatever they are, they are grown with “no sewage sludge on fields,” as noted on the box’s side panel. (And that, my friend, can only be good.) So we decided to try it. We swallowed our first bite cautiously, afraid we might fall into a trance or begin levitating as the kibble hit our stomachs. But we were fine, fine. We continued to eat our breakfast and read the box, which provided five minutes of blissful diversion from current events (good for anyone’s inner harmony). Now for the best part: The box, when turned upside-down, includes a secret message from the Dalai Lama. (We won’t tell you what he says—it’s a secret!) For added intrigue, the inside of the box features mysterious messages about organic food. What do they want to tell us that can’t be printed for all to see? Overall, Nature’s Path delivers a tasty combination of grains, roots and berries, all of which keep their appropriate textures in milk. Does it deliver inner harmony? No, not really. Nonetheless, we’re going back for more tomorrow morning.

—Posted by Celeste Ward