News Corp.’s 20th Century Fox just hit Google’s YouTube with a subpoena, demanding that the video-sharing site identify a user who uploaded some episodes of the latest season of 24. Here’s how I see the drama playing out …
Hour 1: Rebuffed by Google, the suits at Fox decide to enlist the only man tough and resourceful enough for the job … Jack Bauer.
Hour 2: Bauer oversleeps, missed Fox’s panicked calls.
Hour 3: Suits attempt to engage has-been Fox Mulder for the job. Since the character and network share the same name, the execs end up leaving messages for themselves.
Hour 4: Pilot for Lonely Girl 15, starring Mischa Barton, is rejected.
Hours 5-9: Leisurely business breakfast on Wilshire. Creative Artists sends mimosas to table.
Hour 10: The Simpsons voice talent rejects offer of $20 million per episode. Cast of Married With Children agrees to voice The Simpsons for free.
Hour 11: Paula Abdul is kidnapped. Nobody cares.
Hours 12-20: Leisurely lunch with Rupe at new tandoori place on Wilshire. William Morris sends fruit basket to table.
Hour 21: Pilot for Lonely Girl 15, starring Gillian Anderson, is rejected.
Hour 22: Kiefer Sutherland explains that Jack Bauer is a fictional character, not a real agent, and that he can do nothing to uncover who uploaded the episodes of 24.
Hour 23: Fox execs Google themselves, begin intensive courses of psychotherapy.
Hour 24: News Corp. buys YouTube for $10 trillion, ending controversy. Pilot for Lonely Girl 15, starring Bill O’Reilly, gets the green light.
—Posted by David Gianatasio