Ever since we posted an item about Steelerbaby yesterday, there’s been an outpouring of affection for the little guy. People love Steelerbaby as surely as they hate Baby Bob. So we thought we’d post the official On the Spot-ish Q&A with him (or her) from the Steelerbaby site. Obey Steelerbaby.
Q: Are you a boy baby or a girl baby?
SB: Only the old lady that knitted this uniform knows for sure.
Q: Who are your parents?
SB: Steelerbaby’s only faint recollections of them are a tattered Jack Lambert jersey and the smell of stale Iron City Beer and Kielbasa. Last seen together at a tailgate party in Parking Lot B, we’ve been searching for each other since.
Q: Breast or bottle?
SB: While Steelerbaby appreciates the convenience of the bottle, nothing compares to the fine bouquet and smooth aftertaste of a lactating breast.
Q: Why does Steelerbaby refer to itself in the third person?
SB: Does Steelerbaby?
Q: What’s your favorite babyfood?
SB: Primanti’s cap and cheese thrown in a blender.
Q: What were your first words?
SB: “Cleveland sucks.”
Q: Can you explain the pros and cons of the LeBeau’s blitz-zone defense to me?
SB: Hey, I’m just a baby.
Q: How come you never blink?
SB: How come you’re so ugly?
Q: You’re not a real baby. It looks like you’re made of rubber or something.
SB: Takes one to know one—jag-off.
Q: What’s a jag-off?
Q: Do you smell something?
SB: Um, no. OK, this interview is over. Where’s my Steeler blankey? Can someone get me a clean diaper?
—Posted by Tim Nudd