Are you tired of plain old traditional self-promotion? Business cards? What is this, the 1980s?
No, clearly this is the 1990s, and you need to log on to your personal computer right now and design your very own Business Pogs!
Remember pogs? Basically, they were little cardboard circles with pictures on them that were a fad in the early '90s, lasting about as long as the Funky Bunch before Marky Mark married Mark Wahlberg.
With this service (the amazingly retro video below and associated website actually date back to 2012 … how are we just discovering these treasures?) you can get all kinds of cool designs on them: eight balls, yin-yangs, cobras, skulls! And your very own name, phone number and electronic mail address!
What's that? You want to "go viral with QR codes"? Well, you've found your place.
This seems legit too, but the minimum order is $100.
So, if the GIFs above weren't enough, take a look below at the full video, in all of its faux '90s glory. As of post time, the folks at Business Pogs could not be reached for comment. We'll try again in a year or two.