Want the lowest prices on Earth? You got it!


On a recent trip up I-95, I stopped at JR Discount Outlets, which in addition to having the world's largest cigar shop and fabulous doll superstore, boasts the LOWEST PRICES ON EARTH! That's right, not the lowest in North Carolina, not the lowest in the U.S., but the lowest on EARTH! The dubious claim is posted on every item in the store. How do I know it's dubious? It took me 3.4 seconds and Google to find a lower price for the item I bought. You have to wonder, if you're going to make such a claim, why stop on Earth? Just go ahead and claim the whole universe. It's not like the FTC is going to get many off-world objections.

—Posted by Rebecca Cullers


Previously on AdFreak:
Christ's death helps out Safeway customers