The U.S. Army turns to paintball players

I’m not sure the Army knows what it’s getting into with its latest initiative: targeting paintball players as prospective recruits. I got invited to a paintball game recently, via a friend’s mass e-mail. Here are some of the replies the guy got (text is verbatim—all typos are sic):
  “Whom ever is accross the battle field will feel my wrath.”
  “Death comes to us all. But for you it comes …….  with out honr. Who can name that movie.”
  “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?”
  “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!! Splinter for the win!”
  “Wheres my Smiff ’n Wesson!?!?”
  “Im gonna take you all on a hell ride not a joy ride.”
  “He-Man would kick the crap out of each and every Ninja Turtle, with enough moxy left over for a roll in the sack with Teela and the Sorceress.”
  “I will be shooting you all in the face.”
  “I’ll warn you all once more before I go get drunk in preparation for that almighty massacre at my hands tomorrow …. whether friend or foe … you all will feel the wrath of my gleaming piece of mechanical beauty. You have been warned …. tonight I dine in hell!”
  “You guys are all idiots.”
  Inspire confidence, this does not. In fact, it makes you long for the ability to delete yourself from an e-mail string.

—Posted by Tim Nudd