Anyone know what happened to Steven Seagal? He looks like a Macy's parade-float version of himself in this Australian's Carlton Dry campaign from Clemenger BBDO in Melbourne. That waxy sheen doesn't look natural, either. Maybe he's been eating too many of the exploding sausages from the second spot. Carlton Dry is holding a contest in which it asks people to tell the funniest stories about themselves—the winning story will be made into a three-minute online film, as well as a 30 second "movie trailer" style ad, with Seagal playing the person who submitted it. For his sake, I hope the winning story involves a treadmill. UPDATE: Seagal is starring in a new A&E reality series that follows him on real-life police patrols in Jefferson Parish, outside New Orleans. This Carlton campaign could be the next crime he's asked to investigate.