Sports are just better with trampolines

Slamball
Former HBO exec Chris Albrecht, who left the cable net in disgrace, is staking his comeback on SlamBall, a violent, “futuristic” basketball/ rugby/gymnastics hybrid sport that apparently failed to capture the public’s fancy in a past incarnation. (Spike TV aired some games in 2002, but I don’t remember them. Do you?) Albrecht was arrested last year in Las Vegas for attacking his girlfriend (now his fiancé), so aligning himself with a “slam”-based sport takes some “balls,” though it may bespeak a lack of brains. Also, SlamBall sounds uncomfortably like “SlimeBall.” That would probably be a lot more popular as a game. Same rules, except the contests take place in a pit of slime. Sponsor tie-ins abound, from WD-40 and K-Y to Wesson, Plumbers Goop and Jell-O. The teams would, of course, feature SlimeBalls of the day (e.g., Spitzer), along with D-list celebs like Meat Loaf and Tiffany, at least one of whom gets offed in every match. I seem to be getting carried away. Blame it on the time of year. … Happy upfront!

—Posted by David Gianatasio