Dear Aeon Co.: There seems to be some mistake. Last Saturday night, I rented one of your robo-babysitters for Junior. The missus and I have had trouble finding local teens for the job because they’re too busy uploading fake pictures to their MySpace accounts. Also, Junior starts fires. But that’s a story for another day. We requested your 1.4-meter model with the ad-projector eyes. Ads for Volvo would have been especially appreciated. (Sorry, since that hypnosis focus group, I can’t get Volvo out of my mind.) However, you sent us a somewhat larger model, which then proceeded to decimate the neighborhood. At first I was upset. But frankly, Junior’s never been so well behaved and quiet. (The doctors say he’s “traumatized,” but that’s a big word I’m too lazy to look up.) In fact, I’d like to reserve the big metal guy for the upcoming weekend! Since he ate my Prius, I’m heading out to buy a Volvo C70 which, as we know, combines sleek and stylish design with class-leading safety features to turn heads everywhere it goes!
—Posted by David Gianatasio