Someone get Pepsi One a dictionary

Pepsi_oneInstead of using an actual word like unify (or one of its many synonyms found in any thesaurus), Pepsi has invented oneify, which isn’t so much a word as an abomination. It makes my English-major blood boil. The Web site,, is just as bad, featuring crude drawings and music that sounds like a digital approximation of farting. Then there’s the mission statement, which says, “When we oneify, we recognize that more unites us than divides us. We choose togetherness over apartness.” All this cultspeak somehow promotes Pepsi’s one-calorie soft drink, Pepsi One, which was reformulated this spring and “unites the taste of regular cola with all the things you like about diet cola.” Come on. Would I drink Pepsi One to rectify an “apartness” problem that threatens to tear the world apart? No. I’d drink it if it tasted good. And this campaign leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

—Posted by David Kiefaber