Ah, PETA, what would we do without your cyber snowglobe reminding us whom to despise this holiday season—and the animal-related reasons why they’ve earned our disgust? There’s Michael Vick, wearing a football helmet and an inmate’s jumpsuit, exercising in the prison yard. Everyone knows about Vick’s dogfighting, but here are some other celebs who’ve wronged our furry friends: the Olsen twins, Kate Moss and Anna Wintour (all for wearing fur); Dick Cheney (for hunting); and Colonel Sanders (for chicken torture). I applaud the late Colonel’s inclusion. He deserves to get pecked for all eternity by a giant devil-chicken, if only because KFC’s greasy, bland food sucks. As for the others, well, most people already disliked them, even without the animal-cruelty angle, so I guess they’re fair game. Oops, “fair game’s” a hunting reference. Fur would keep you warm in that chilly globe. Oh, right—no fur. I’d better watch out. And so should McKinney’s Snowglobe Boy, who may see Michael Vick break his record shortly.
—Posted by David Gianatasio