OK You Monsters, Heinz Will Release ‘Mayochup’ Now That 500,000 of You Asked for It

But the official name is still up for debate

Mayochup? Fry Sauce? Heinz is asking fans to suggest the best name for when the product hits U.S. shelves.
Photo illustration: Dianna McDougall; Sources: Getty Images and Heinz

With nearly 1 million votes tallied in its Twitter poll, Heinz has declared the victor to be “Pass the Heinz Mayochup.”

The question? “Want #mayochup in stores? 500,000 votes for ‘yes’ and we’ll release it to you saucy Americans.” While clearly it was the total pro-mashup vote count that mattered rather than the percentage, Team Mayochup still secured a 55 percent majority over the 45 percent who chose the sensible “Nah, I’ll make my own.”

So now that the people have spoken and Democracy has risen from its own charred-hot-dog ashes, the brand is moving forward with plans to roll out to U.S. consumers a combined ketchup and mayonnaise—a product it already offers in some overseas markets—by the end of this year.

Unwilling to let our fragmented nation move on after the Great #Mayochup Schism of 2018, Heinz has already foisted yet another divisive decision onto the masses: What should it be called?

“We know people have combined mayonnaise and ketchup for years and they are passionate about its name,” Nicole Kulwicki, Heinz director of marketing, said in a statement. “That’s why we’re asking America to share their suggestions, to ensure our version of this delicious duo gets the name it deserves.”

“Heinz Mayochup,” while not exactly rolling off the tongue, is certainly an option. But a more likely choice is “Fry Sauce,” which is what the combo’s already called in several parts of the U.S. and around the world.

Personally I’d recommend they add a bit of sweet pickle relish and vinegar, then try it and get all excited about perfecting the recipe until they realize they just re-invented Thousand Island Dressing and that time is a flat circle.

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