Holiday-sale commercials are usually inane. Alas, mega retailers and their ad creatives seem to have figured out this year that Internet tween sensations can help them reach new, mind-numbing lows. First, there was Kohl's relentlessly dumb rendition of Rebecca Black's "Friday." Now, Macy's wants to make your ears bleed with this ad from JWT New York starring Justin Bieber—and a bunch of grown men screeching like 13-year-old girls. "Yo, I'm going to Macy's Black Friday Sale," intones a characteristically well-preened Biebs as he sets out for the store, setting off a string of piercing, inappropriate screams along the way. All the more reason to stay far, far away. And with turkeys like these flocking the airwaves, everyone may as well have indulged PETA and spared the real birds—we'll be comatose by Thanksgiving anyway.