Live-blogging some conference or other

Zuck2

1:40: It’s exciting to be here liveblogging the Facebook Developer’s Conference. Boy, these guys know how to spice up an industry event—talk about putting the “social” in “social media.” They keep serving free drinks! OK, I’ll just take a sip.
  1:49: Can’t wait to hear Zuckerberg’s speech. I wish I’d gone to Harvard, studied super-hard, busted my hump and stole the idea for Facebook like he did. Guy’s a genius.
  2:02: No sign of Mark Z. These rum coolers are amazing, though. Guy next to me is Twittering away. His name tag just says “Steve.” Begs the question: Jobs or Hall? Either way, I’m not saving his seat when he gets up to use the men’s room.
  2:05: The show’s starting. Is that Zuckerberg? I thought he was younger. And had hair. And was a guy. The first slide says, “Shaken and stirred.” The next: “Bottoms up.” Man, they’re getting weirder at Facebook every day.

  2:19: I’d post some pix, but I can’t get this digital camera to work.
Someone just handed me a rum cordial. Don’t mind if I … d’oh! The
thing went off, and the flash zapped me right in the eye. Lucky I’ve
got two.
  2:31: Eyesight’s back now. Wish that guy next to me would put his
cell phone away. Maybe he’s one of the Twitterati. I thought they had
to return to their lairs before sunrise.
  2:34: Captain Morgan’s giving a PowerPoint presentation. The bars on
the chart look like tiki bars. He says it’s time “to take the rum
platform to the next level.” Aye, aye, Captain! He’s supposed to be a
pirate. I never noticed that before.
  2:35: World Distilleries Conference?! AdFreak’s gonna kill me. Oh well—cheers!
  2:36: Another rum punch? Don’t mind if I do!
  2:43: I can’t feel my toes or remember my name. Bet this is how Matt
Drudge feels every morning when he wakes up next to Arianna Huffington
on a mattress of money.
  2:50: Zuckerberg soars into the rafters like a rich geeky bird. He’s
so godlike, he can fly! Friend me, you rich, aerodynamic nerd! Or I’m
starting a FakeMarkZuckerberg site. Oh. It’s not Mark, it’s just a
pigeon that flew in. My eyes are cloudy. Never mind.
  2:55: Show’s over. Bye, bye show! Hey, is someone playing “Comfortably Numb,” or is that just in my head?

—Posted by David Gianatasio