Lick the Welch’s ad, you know you want to

Welchs Thith ith delithiouth! Thith lickable Welch’th grape juithe ad in People magathine ith abtholutely delithiouth! It’th much better than CBS’th mojito-flavored adth for Cane. Who careth that magathines are pathed along from perthon to perthon? Who careth about hygiene? It’th juth … yummy, yummy, yummy. And yeth, obviouthly my tongue got thtuck to the glue from the inthert. But it thtill tathe terrific! (Mental note to self: Cancel People subscription, quit AdFreak, sue Welch’s for emotional distress. I’ve got paper cuts on my gums!)

—Posted by David Gianatasio