Hummer insecurity hits record levels

Is anyone else as confused and/or astounded by the new Hummer work as we are? (The ads, from Modernista!, don’t appear to be online, perhaps because Hummer knows they’d be ridiculed. Actually, they already are.) In one new spot, a woman gets fronted in line and snubbed, a minor social infraction at best, so she immediately buys a Hummer to make herself feel better. The tagline is, “Get your girl on.” And then it just ends. Which leads me to wonder: Why doesn’t she go get her revenge? And how, exactly, is the purchase of a wasteful, obnoxious turdmobile a path to female empowerment? The other new spot is for guys. It shows a man who feels inadequate while buying tofu at the store instead of red meat. He also runs out and buys a Hummer to feel better. The tagline on that one: “Restore your manhood.” So it’s official. Hummer is the vehicle for men with tiny penises. They’ve finally just come out and said it.

—Posted by David Kiefaber