Hollywood’s TV and movie writers, in a move timed to the precise moment their participation in the global entertainment machine was rendered superfluous, are on the brink of a strike. Have no fear: This talented bunch won’t languish. In fact, they’ve developed a reality series to keep the creative juices flowing. They’ll star in it themselves. Here’s a preview:
Scene: a Bel Air mansion on a glorious sunny day.
Writer 1 (sipping a piña coloda): We should call this show The Write Moves.
Writer 2 (sipping a strawberry daiquiri, checking his investments on a BlackBerry): The Write Stuff is better.
Writer 1: Write Moves!
Writer 2: Write Stuff!
Writer 1: They used The Write Stuff for that astronaut movie.
Writer 2: That was The Right Stuff with an “r.” Besides, if it’s been done before, it’s an easier sell.
Writer 1 (answering his cell phone): Shares of News Corp.? With the strike on? No way! Sure, Apple’s fine. Maui on Thursday? Why not?
(They sip their drinks.)
Writer 1: I wrote for Star Trek, you know.
Writer 2: Which one?
Writer 1: Voyager.
Writer 2 (unimpressed): Eh.
Writer 1: Residuals in perpetuity.
Both (as they high-five): Booo-yah!
—Posted by David Gianatasio
UPDATE: In a show of support with the WGA, AdFreak’s writers have authorized a strike against its editors unless certain demands are met immediately:
1) If we put something in italics, management must leave it that way.
2) The holiday party will be moved to somewhere other than Brian Morrissey’s guest room.
3) Dangling a participle, management must leave it that way.
4) We get a share of profits from those AdFreak T-shirts management made with those Bic Banana markers, if and when management sells any.
5) All non-sequiturs and puns are OK, though we’ll flush two of every three potty references as a concession.