Growing up in Atlanta, I never made it to Brunswick, a small Georgia town that lies somewhere between St. Simons Island and, apparently, 1952. At least, that’s judging by “A Girl’s Guide to the Super Bowl,” by one Amy Horton, in yesterday’s Brunswick Times. I’m a girl (I actually prefer “woman,” but whatever), and I don’t care much for football, so Horton has written a guide for people like me.
She interviews Annette Weaver (girl and football watcher), who gives all sorts of handy tips. Don’t know what to say? Try blurting out, “Who do you think is going to win?” suggests Weaver. Horton gives an approving nod to the “many thousands” of dollars companies spend on Super Bowl ads, but Weaver is a clear-eyed realist about the game. “What I personally have found is that these guys who’ve been following football all their life, there’s no way they’re going to take you seriously,” she says. (But make it look like you’re trying, Horton says.)
Plus, Horton warns me that the presence of so many “hunks” on screen may make it hard “for a girl who doesn’t eat, sleep and breathe football to keep her wits about her.” Duly noted. (I should be especially careful, apparently, when Tom Brady comes on screen, because he’s so good looking.) Finally, I should dress well, because “a girl can do anything with confidence as long as she looks good, so mind your dress on the day of the big game.”
Thanks for all the tips, Amy! They’re, like, totally helpful!
—Posted by Mae Anderson