Ellen DeGeneres lets all sorts of groan-inducing, size-based bon mots innocently fly as she exhorts Santa's elves to make more toys for a seasonal giveaway contest in this JCPenney spot. But the biggest joke here is the protest and call for a boycott by mean-spirited, tone-deaf and irrelevant conservative group One Million Moms, which continues to operate under the assumption that anyone gives a crap about what it has to say, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Previously, One Million Moms objected when Penney hired openly gay Ellen as its spokeswoman, and complained again when the retailer featured a lesbian couple in its catalog. (It's almost as if JCPenney is secretly backing the Moms, because the store's image certainly soars each time the hateful group pops off.) The organization, an offshoot of the American Family Association, has this to say about Ellen's elves ad: "JCP has made their choice to offend a huge majority of their customers again. Christians must now vote with their wallets." I'd like to think true Christians would vote with their hearts and heads … for acceptance, understanding and basic common sense.