Don’t hold you breath for David Blaine ads

BlaineOn The Oprah Winfrey Show today,
David Blaine set a new world record for holding his breath: 17 minutes and 4 seconds. He survived the ordeal, so our national nightmare continues. Then I started thinking: What are the ad opportunities here? Which brand is best positioned to leverage this media whore’s dubious achievement? (By media whore, I mean Blaine, not Oprah, our future president.) Hershey’s Breathsavers? Breathe Right nasal strips? Oh right, I forgot. No one likes the guy or wants to hire him (except the NBA, which thought he could make its refereeing scandal disappear). Tomorrow on Oprah, James Frey tries to break Blaine’s record. They’ll check him first for a tracheotomy and breathing tube under his loose-fitting garment.

—Posted by David Gianatasio