Dave Gone Wild: the uncensored history

It’s bound to slip out sometime, so I’ve decided to get ahead of the curve and admit it right here on AdFreak: Much like Ashley Dupré, I myself went wild. It happened last year, when my social network for people named Dave failed to take off. (Heck, even I didn’t join.) Confused and despondent, on a major latte bender, I boarded one of those Girls Gone Wild bus tours, but was kicked off and had to take the Greyhound instead. They wouldn’t let me ride for free, even after I whipped off my shirt and offered discount hula lessons to those in the cheap seats. It gets kind of hazy here, but I remember sheriff’s deputies breaking down the bathroom door, and one crazy night in the Albuquerque jail before my mom showed up and bailed me out. (That might have just been an episode of Cops I watched after hyperventilating from too many Scope online bad-breath tests.) The moral of the story: I’d plaster my butt across every bus in town if only someone would pay me.

—Posted by David Gianatasio