The Cheesiest Patriotic Products for the Fourth of July

Enjoy your freedom to buy total crap

It doesn't matter if your horrible taste is ironic or genuine, Laughing Squid's photo guide to tacky Independence Day merchandise will leave you stunned. Some of these items could pass for vicious, unsubtle jabs at the national character—the dollar-sign-shaped American culture lollipop, for example, or the Obama portrait that looks more like Smokey Robinson than the president. The patriotic-kitten shirt looks like a screen-print from some art major's Tumblr. It's really hard to say what the most outrageous item is, but I'm going with the Abe Lincoln costume, because that store has clearly repurposed its old Halloween stock as a "disguise kit." Nice try, fellas, but I know a retail mulligan when I see one.