Can we please let Nipplegate rest in peace?

I like indecency as much as the next guy. But I’m getting sick of this never-ending phony-baloney pseudo-controversial CBS-FCC-Janet Jackson flap. The time has come for America to heal. How long ago did the gloved one’s sister show some skin at halftime? I think Joe Namath played in the game. Hell, Justin Timberlake was still popular—that’s how long ago it was. Let’s end this once and for all. Here’s some advice for all the players involved: CBS: She showed her breast, you paid the fine. Move on. (And be glad the FCC doesn’t impose fines for quality, because once you run out of cities to tack onto CSI:, it’s all over. Love Monkey?! Who greenlighted that?) FCC: You made your point. You’re a big tough federal agency, and you can tell everybody what to do. Except for satellite and cable. And cyberspace. (I’m not sure if you have any power over mobile phones, but if you could hook me up with a Sprint Sidekick III, that’d be sweet.) Bottom line: Move on! Janet: Have you considered dropping your pants? Or the charade that you still have a career? Justin: It’s time for a Lance Bass-style revelation, my man. The tabloids would be “lovin’ it!” Joe: No matter how much they offer, keep your clothes on.

—Posted by David Gianatasio