Become a Teletubby with the video vest

Wearablevideo "Wearable Video Vest Launched." Such a statement must surely portend the arrival of the Biblical "end times." Nothing in the press release disabused me of that belief. It begins: “Video Vest provides progressive marketing professionals a technology to WEAR clothing that plays full motion video with stereo sound any place they want to capture attention.” If you wear a TV in public, yes, you’ll probably get a few looks from passersby. (And why the all-caps on “WEAR”? Come to think of it, why emphasize that the vest is “wearable” at all? If you can’t wear it, it’s not much of a vest, whatever its other bells and whistles.) The missive continues: “Companies such as Comcast, Seminole Hardrock, Westgate Resorts, Corning Data, Golden Palace and other clientele rent or lease Video Vests for use at tradeshows or for street campaigns.” I must remember never to seek employment at those firms. Finally: “The company is currently developing new technologies and product lines to expand the Wearable Video concept.” Video hats? Video pants? I’m taping iPhones to my chinos to get ahead of the curve.

—Posted by David Gianatasio