Axe's advertising is usually set in a parallel universe where its products exert a gravitational pull on beautiful women. While its English-language messaging from Bartle Bogle Hegarty moves closer to a dystopian reality where the girlfriends hold all the power, French agency Buzzman's cartoonish new spot (below) finally admits that the brand's shower gel has more of a repellant effect on bikini-clad models. But don't worry, flabby teens. That's only because when you flap your Axe-washed wings at the beach, a meteor made up of horny bombshells forms at a distant point in space-time and hurdles toward you—causing everyone nearby to flee for their lives. Call it chaos theory for douchebags.