World Record, to Go

McDonald’s loves to see you smile. But it really, really loves to see you eat 18,000 Big Macs.

Don Gorske of Fond du Lac, Wis., reached that milestone last Tuesday, according to the Fond du Lac Reporter. The prison guard and father of two began his run in 1972, starting out with a nine-Big-Macs-a-day habit but tapering off to average a little less than two a day—all the while maintaining a trim 6-foot, 175-pound build and a low cholesterol count of 156. Not wishing to promote gluttony, the Guinness Book of World Records shunned Gorske for 20 years, but has finally accepted him.

The numbers are, frankly, disturbing. In 29 years, Gorske has processed some 800 heads of lettuce, 820 onions, 1,900 whole pickles, 563 pounds of cheese, 100 gallons of special sauce, 6.25 million sesame seeds and, perhaps most ominously, 14.5 cows. He eats very little else. (In April he had prime rib for the first time in 17 years. “It was OK,” he said, “but give me a Big Mac any day.”)

Gorske hasn’t been in a McDonald’s ad, though he does spout DDB-ish lines. “It’s very tasty to me, and it’s very tasty every day,” he says of the Big Mac. Granted, anyone who’s seen Damien Hirst’s art or who can only imagine eating, say, one Big Mac a day may not relate. Or maybe McDonald’s is simply afraid of Gorske. “I figured he’d give up,” says his wife. “I thought he was more normal.”